- I will exercise every day. (As long as my favorite exercise outfit is clean, my best friend is free to exercise with me, and I don’t have to take another shower.)
- I will eat only healthy foods. (As long as they are covered in chocolate.)
- I will improve myself in some way every month. (Provided I do not have to read any self-help books, go to any counseling sessions, watch any instructional videos, or listen to smug, skinny, well-adjusted salespeople.)
- I will separate myself from negative people. (Is this child abandonment?)
- I will read the books I didn’t get to last year. (As long as someone else can do my work, wash clothes, run errands, and take care of my children.)
- I will prioritize my life. (I will not spend half a day making homemade cupcakes for children who will lick the icing off and throw the cupcake away.)
- I will spend more time with my dearest friends. (Instead of listening to mere acquaintances blather on about their ex-husbands.)
- I will plant an herb garden. (As long as I don’t have to water it or fertilize it or anything like that.)
- I will find one good thing in every person I meet. (Even if I have to admire someone’s handwriting.)
- I will be kind to animals. (Even if I hold up rush hour traffic for a tortoise.)
- I will encourage my friends in every new venture. (Even if it is a totally ridiculous idea, and everyone knows it.)
- I will be more adventurous. (I will run with scissors and gas up the car after the warning light comes on rather than with half a tank.)
- I will try a new hairstyle. (Surely there is some style out there that screams: “There is a woman in here underneath the mom attire!”)
- I will clean out my attic. (And stop pretending my husband will ever get to that.)
- I will balance my checkbook properly. (How hard can three-digit subtraction be?)
- I will be more tolerant of other people’s views. (Even if they are obviously uninformed idiots.)
- I will spend more time having fun. (And less time feeling guilty about that.)
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or listen to smug, skinny, well-adjusted salespeople.) Is there any such thing; are really skinny well-adjusted? 🙂 🙂
That’s an excellent point. “Well-adjusted” is rather subjective; isn’t it? Ha!
I am having so much fun reading your posts. I am hooked. You have a new friend! I will send your link to my girlfriends and post it on mykentuckyliv.com.
Love your mama humor too!
Sheila
Thanks so much! I will return the favor as soon as I get a minute to breathe!!!! You might like my books, too. There are 4 so far. They do not have to be read in order. You can get them from your favorite bookstore, Amazon, or download! Enjoy!
Thanks so much! Sheila
Reblogged this on mykentuckyliving and commented:
I have just discovered Melinda Rainey Thompson! Please read some of her thoughts and opinions. I found myself nodding, smiling, and chuckling.
This is a quick little post because I wanted to share Miss Melinda’s website before I forgot. Ha!
The sun is out and the temps are mild in south central Ky today. There could be a blizzard tomorrow with this crazy weather pattern. I think an afternoon walk is in order.
Msshe